y’know. A lot has changed since last year. I don’t know why I’ve been thinking about it recently but it’s been on my mind. I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress with being happier with myself in some ways, in other ways I feel like I’ve regressed even further which doesn’t really make much sense but here we are. I’ve stopped wondering about what would happen if I died, how I assumed no one would miss me and they’d all just easily move on. I know around this time last year I stopped berating myself for being “ugly” and “awkward looking” I mean I guess I still think that sometimes but bad days are just bad days. I’ve also gotten a lot less shy over the past couple years, which is an accomplishment to me because I’ve been so shy my entire life. I am, however, still pretty incapable of normal social interactions. Probably due to the fact I hate eye contact and small talk, both of which seem to be necessary to ~broaden your horizons~ bleh. I’m also not as judgmental as I used to be. And even then I wasn’t like, overtly judgmental I usually kept it to myself. I do still suck at not dwelling on the past, and getting annoyed at little things that I should really just overlook. I think too much about people who really don’t actually matter to me anymore and don’t care about me either. I think too much in general though.

I’m getting there I guess. Wherever “there” is.